Batboy the Musical
Batboy the Musical is a curious cocktail of inbreeding, bestiality, and type 2 diabetes that causes uproar when the audience learns of the many twists in the plot. First of all, the town’s main source of income is cattle farming, which is quite unsuccessful seeing as the mythical Hope Falls, West Virginia is located on the side of a mountain. This causes many quarrels between the working townsfolk who miss their work in the coal mines. Three spelunking siblings discover a pale, fanged creature in a cave after he bites one of them.
The creature, nicknamed ‘Batboy’, is taken to the town veterinarian for safekeeping. The veterinarian’s family decides to take in the boy and teach him to become civilized like the rest of them. Their first step is to give him a name; Edgar. While Edgar develops his social skills, the town refuses to accept him because they think he his slaughtering their cows. In reality, Dr. Parker, the veterinarian is secretly feeding him blood to improve his health.
Edgar becomes refined enough to attend a local church event, where he is able to win the affections of the townspeople with his newly found eloquence. Then the news comes that the girl that Edgar attacked in the cave has died, unknown to them that it was by the hands of Dr. Parker. The town immediately goes into chaos and turns on Edgar. In his defense, he attacks Rick Taylor, the girl’s brother, and the boyfriend of Dr. Parker’s daughter; and flees to the woods.
Mrs. Parker and her daughter, Shelley search for Edgar in the woods and form a plan to run away from Dr. Parker and Hope Falls. Shelley reveals to her mother that she has fallen in love with the gentleman that Edgar has become. Mrs. Parker reacts with horror and disgust, causing Shelley to flee from her. Shelley meets up with Edgar in the woods and the two profess their love for each other, and consummating their love with the help of the Greek God of nature, Pan.
While the mob is chasing after them, and being built up into a frenzy, Edgar is battling his need to feed on blood and implores Shelley to leave so she can be safe. In an act of love and trust, she offers her own arm for him to feast from. Just as he is about to accept her gift, Mrs. Parker barges in and admits that she is Edgar’s mother.
Edgar runs away in disgust to his cave and feeds on a cow while he vows to kill his parents for the grief they have caused him. The angry mob and his family members all arrive and Mrs. Parker tells the true story of how Edgar came to be. Dr. Parker had developed a very strong pheromone and a mistake in the experimental process caused him to become possessed by sexual desire and sexually assault Mrs. Parker. As she ran home crying, the pheromones also attracted a colony of bats that ended in the same way. On the day Shelley and Edgar were born, Mrs. Parker asks her husband to kill her son, but he couldn’t, so he abandoned him in a cave.
Edgar can’t bear hearing the truth and begs Dr. Parker to kill him, but once again, he cannot bring himself to do it. In an effort to enrage the doctor, Edgar admits to the love affair between him and Shelley. Dr. Parker reacts by slitting his throat, causing Edgar to begin feeding feverishly. Dr. Parker goes to stab Edgar repeatedly, but only land one blow because Mrs. Parker comes to shield Edgar with her own body. They all die in a pile in front of their whole town.
The townspeople go on to list off the lessons they learned from this experience, none of which are larger that they eyes of the audience. So much unsavory information being delivered all at once is more than enough to cause anyone to run screaming from the theatre straight to the nearest, hottest shower.